my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize