My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
