just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
