that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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