am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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