if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
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