There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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