it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
it's like iHOP with fire
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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