Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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