Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
