I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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