Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
