He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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