It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
