we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
time to smoke my breakfast
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
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I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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