she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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