hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
