how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
