We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
