Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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