Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
