So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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