We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
