..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You work out of a Hotel?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
