Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
