I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
