The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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