Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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