Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
