ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.