who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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