someone threw a dead crab at me
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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