I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
