I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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