Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize