Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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