She said her name was "party"
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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