careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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