guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
