mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
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That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
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You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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