I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
