Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
