I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
