im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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