party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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