Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
