You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
