Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
