And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
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I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
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There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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