Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

You smell like stripper and shame

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(910): View more from North Carolina

too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.

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(980): View more from North Carolina

i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!

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(647): View more from Ontario

if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.

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(406): View more from Montana

You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.

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(260): View more from Indiana

All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.

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(614): View more from Ohio

The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one

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