Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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