"it" just moved
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
