Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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