did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
