But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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