Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
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She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
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If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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