If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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