Christians are straight up FREAKS
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
why is half of my head shaved?
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