I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
