apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"