My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
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The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
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WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.