Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.

Fav 19 1181 5064
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.

Fav 3 1939 1273
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.

Fav 5 1516 2996
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.

Fav 4 881 1561
share tweet
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(830): View more from Texas

we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.

Fav 8 2694 915
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.

Fav 4 690 1275
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(307): View more from Wyoming

I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker

Fav 6 1404 676
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.

Fav 8 745 1114
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(808): View more from Hawaii

I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating

Fav 4 96 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT