Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead

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(562): View more from California

even your uterus rejects him.

(1-562): View more from California

apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(414): View more from Wisconsin

The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms

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(416): View more from Toronto

Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out

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(757): View more from Virginia

It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.

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